Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby… (But Like, the Married Kind)

Okay, so… I’m not posting this one to Facebook or shouting it from the Instagram rooftops tonight. Nope. Tonight’s blog post is for the brave souls who just so happen to stumble across it. And if you’re here? Welcome to the party! You found the unfiltered corner of my heart where we’re talking about S-E-X. That’s right, I said it.

Sex.

Awkward? Maybe. Necessary? Definitely.

Before you go assuming this post is about scandal and Fifty Shades-level confessions, let me stop you right there: I’m a married woman who proudly loves her vanilla, loyal, spiritually blessed sex life. There’s no sneaking off, no secret strip club adventures, and nobody hiding in the bathroom with a sock and shame. Our browser history is chicken coop How To’s and reels taken over by our youngest. And honestly? That kind of peace is hotter than anything a “spicy” hookup could offer.

Now, let me say this loud and clear:

This isn’t a judgment zone. If your relationship has been through storms and come out stronger, especially through the pain of infidelity. Please know I admire the fight it takes to rebuild. But tonight, I want to talk about why sex is more than just skin on skin. Why it’s a gift. Why it’s sacred. Why it matters in marriage. Also, if you want to know a little secret before I get into this…. I used to write ALOT of soft core porn. Literotica. And shhh… but I had some people pay to write personalized fantasies for them.

ANYWAYS!

The Bible calls sex a gift from God meant for a husband and wife, inside a committed, loving relationship. And not just for making babies (though that’s a bonus, depending on your sleep schedule and sanity). Sex is about unity, healing, and joy.

So let’s break it down:

1. Emotional Intimacy & Connection

There’s something wild, beautiful, and slightly terrifying about being fully known and fully loved especially when that includes seeing each other naked in daylight.

Sex in marriage isn’t just about pleasure. It’s about connection. Vulnerability. Safety. A wordless “I still choose you even after I saw what you look like trying to take off tight jeans with no hands.”

It’s about knowing your partner’s weird sleep sounds, snack obsessions, and emotional baggage and saying, “Yep. Let’s get naked anyway.”

That’s real love, baby.

2. Physical Affection & Touch

Oxytocin is real, y’all. It’s the love drug. That magical hormone that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy kind of like when your spouse finally rubs your back without expecting anything in return (but also… maybe expecting something). That’s usually how we end up pregnant lol

God literally designed our bodies to bond through touch. It’s science. It’s sacred.

And sometimes it starts with a forehead kiss and ends with, “Are the kids asleep yet?”

Or better yet: “I locked the door this time, I promise.”

Affection doesn’t always have to lead to sex, but let’s be honest it’s a great bonus.

3. Communication & Trust

True intimacy begins with honesty. When we feel safe enough to speak openly about what we like, what we need, and what we’re still learning. It creates a sacred space where both hearts can breathe.

Sex can’t thrive in silence or assumption. It grows when we listen with empathy, speak with kindness, and make room for each other’s vulnerability.

That kind of trust doesn’t just stay in the bedroom, it overflows into every part of marriage. It says, “You can bring your whole self here, and I will still choose you.”

4. Stress Relief & Mental Health

Intimacy has a way of softening the hard edges of life. It quiets the noise, eases anxiety, and reminds us we’re not alone in the chaos. In a world that demands so much, sex offers a sacred pause where laughter, release, and connection meet.

Sometimes the best therapy session doesn’t involve a couch or a co-pay. Sometimes it looks like two tired people, locking eyes, letting go… and praying the kids actually stay asleep this time.

It’s cheaper than therapy, more effective than wine, and on the right night… burns just as many calories as running around chasing the kids.

5. Affirmation & Desire

There’s something deeply reassuring about being wanted by the one who knows you best. When your spouse reaches for you not out of habit, but out of genuine desire. It speaks to a part of your heart that still longs to be chosen.

Desire in marriage is more than attraction. It’s connection. It’s love in motion. It’s saying, “I see you. I know you. And I still want you.”

Through the tired days, the worn-out bodies, the moments of doubt being pursued by your partner reminds you that your love story is still unfolding. That even in the ordinary, there’s something sacred. Something magnetic.

Because being wanted by the one you love?

That’s not just romantic.

It’s healing.

6. Conflict Recovery

Let’s be real. Makeup sex is a thing. And it’s HOT! A very real, very sweaty peace treaty.

Because nothing says “I forgive you for leaving the laundry in the washer for two days” like passionately reuniting on the same bed you refused to speak across two hours ago.

It’s the ultimate reset button. Like saying, “We may not agree on how to load the dishwasher, but we do agree on this.”

Is it always wise to skip the deep talk and jump straight to the bedroom? Probably not.

Do married people do it anyway and call it “emotional processing”?

Absolutely..

7. Spiritual Union

Sex isn’t just physical, it’s spiritual. It’s a sacred act designed by God to unite two souls in covenant, not just in body, but in heart and spirit.

Within marriage, it becomes a reflection of God’s design for intimacy. personal, purposeful, and deeply holy. It’s a way of saying, “I belong fully to you, and you to me,” under the covering of trust, love, and lifelong commitment.

It’s more than passion. It’s worship. A reminder that God created this kind of closeness not as something shameful, but as a beautiful expression of unity, joy, and love between a husband and wife.

In a world that often cheapens or distorts intimacy, choosing to honor each other in this way becomes a quiet, powerful act of faith.

8. Preventing Distance

When sex goes quiet for too long, things can start to feel a little… roommate-y. You know, like two people who pay the same bills, raise the same kids, and occasionally high-five in the kitchen while unloading groceries.

It’s not about keeping score (“We haven’t in two weeks, so technically it’s your move”), but about staying connected, tuned in, and remembering, “Oh yeah, we actually really like each other… and not just when the kids are at grandma’s.”

Because the longer the dry spell, the easier it is to replace intimacy with Netflix, laundry, or scrolling Instagram while pretending you’re “just tired.” (We see you.) So don’t wait for the stars to align. Lock the door. Light the candle. Or just wink across the room and say, “You busy later?” Or if you’re like me, just go straddle Him in the lazy boy lol It’s about choosing closeness before distance gets comfy.

Final Thoughts…

Look, sex isn’t the only way to show love. And every couple has their own rhythm, health considerations, and seasons. But the heart of the matter is this: sex matters because marriage matters. And the world can downplay it all day long, but we were wired for intimacy. True, holy, intentional, naked vulnerability. And when done God’s way? It’s not boring.

ITS BEAUTIFUL.

Want more marriage chats like this one? Stick around. I write the things we all think about but don’t always say out loud. Because sometimes, the healthiest marriages are built in the quiet, behind closed doors, in faith, trust, and… a little vanilla spice. Feel free to personally reach out and I can answer questions.