It’s me, hi. I’m the drama, it’s me

🚩 Red Flags in Adult Women Friendships

I just walked through a friendship that checked every single one of these boxes. The signs were there from the beginning, but I ignored them. Why? Because at first, she was opening up to me about her husband’s affairs. I felt bad for her. I had once been that insecure woman, and I thought maybe being a supportive friend and offering advice would help her.

But the truth? The second she told me her husband compared my success to hers, she hated me. I missed that sign. I should’ve known then that this wasn’t friendship… it was competition disguised as connection.

The older I get, the harder it is to accept that some women will choose to stay stagnant. They don’t grow, they don’t reflect, they don’t heal. They think they know better while projecting their insecurities onto the women around them. And they don’t seek friendship because they want sisterhood… they latch on like leeches because they need someone to tear down in order to feel better about themselves.

So let’s call this behavior what it is. Red flags waving in neon lights.

1. The Woman Who Tells You Her Husband Compares You to Her. That’s not “honesty.” That’s insecurity, competition, and a desperate attempt to put you in your place. Secure women don’t weaponize their marriage to make you feel small. Plus it’s putting you as a friend in a very uncomfortable position around her husband. Not to mention your husband…

2. The Friend Who Runs With Your Secrets. She takes what you confide in her, delivers it to someone else, then comes back like it’s no big deal. That’s not immaturity. It is betrayal dressed up as entertainment.

3. The Wife Who Forgives Him but Attacks Other Women. If she can forgive a cheating husband ten times over but unloads her rage on women who didn’t even know, it’s not loyalty… it’s denial. Misplaced anger doesn’t save her marriage, it just burns bridges with other women. She turned on those women, she’s going to turn on you too because remember what you read on Number 1? She already shared her husband notices you….

4. The “Girls Are Drama” Girl but Gossips About Everyone. If she says “I don’t do girl friends because girls are drama,” trust me when I say SHE is the drama. She doesn’t avoid female friendships because they’re messy. She avoids them because women who stand in truth make her uncomfortable.

5. The Word Twister. She lies, manipulates, spins your words, then hides behind “Oh, I misunderstood.” That’s not confusion. It’s calculation. She knew exactly what she was doing.

6. The Betrayer Who Runs to Your Enemies. And finally… the grand finale. Once you create a boundary, once you say enough, she’ll go befriend the very people she knows hurt you. Not because she wants friendship, but because she wants to punish you. That’s not a friend. That’s a fraud.

Final Word? The older I get, the more I realize real women don’t compete, compare, or betray. They clap when you win, sit with you when you lose, and never use your pain as their weapon. If you see these red flags, don’t second guess yourself. Don’t excuse it. Don’t keep hoping she’ll change. Or think “maybe she doesnt realize she’s doing it”.

👉 She won’t.

👉 She doesn’t want to.

👉 And you don’t owe her another chance.

Some women aren’t looking for friendship. They’re looking for a mirror to reflect their insecurities onto. Don’t be that mirror.